I have two daughters, Gabriella who is 3 and Ava who is 2. They were born 11 months apart which makes then ‘Irish Twins’. Going out with the girls can sometimes generate some interesting comments. Here are eight things that parents of Irish Twins hear on a regular basis.
1 ‘You’ve got your hands full.’
*sigh* Any fellow Irish twin parents will no doubt have had multiple strangers feel the need to tell them that they have their hands full every time they set foot out of the house. I don’t know whether people say it because they can’t think of anything more insightful to say, but trust me, after hearing it over and over it gets a bit tedious. I would much rather hear ‘they are so well behaved’ or ‘they are cute’, a smile can be nice too.
2 ‘You have been busy.’
Seriously, When else would a person feel it appropriate to comment on someone else’s sex life? It’s such an unnecessary thing for people to say. It is always really awkward when people tell me that I have ‘been busy’, but you would be surprised how often I hear it. In the beginning, I heard it almost daily. I even once heard it from a doctor at a hospital appointment, which was delightful.
3 ‘You are crazy.’
As someone that spent all of their life desperate to have a family of their own this one really annoys me. I can completely understand that having two or more kids so close together might seem overwhelming to some people but for my family, it made perfect sense. Although there are many aspects of having the girls close together that have been difficult, there have been way more good than bad days.
4 ‘Was it planned?’
I can’t understand why people feel the need to ask this, it’s absolutely nothing to do with anyone other than my partner and me. However, people seem to take a keen interest in your sex life when you have Irish Twins. But yes, I was aware that having unprotected sex makes babies thank you. I actually was asked after having Gabriella if I wanted to go onto any contraception, but I chose not to and let nature determine if I was going to have another and I was blessed with Ava.
5 ‘I know exactly what that’s like, mine are two/three years apart.’
Having a toddler and a newborn, and an 11-month-old and a newborn have both completely different dynamics. I can appreciate that people are trying to find common ground, but the two couldn’t be more different. I literally had two babies, Gabriella wasn’t walking, she could say a few words but was nowhere near talking. When you have a toddler they can walk, talk and will a lot more independent than an 11-month-old. I’m assuming that people usually say a thing to help find common ground or find a way to connect with you but it is frustrating when people say this because they are so different.
6 ‘You’re brave.’
Its honestly like people think that having Irish Twins is the end of the world. It’s not as scary as people think. It can get quite disheartening when you hear comments like this and it feels like everyone is making assumptions without knowing your situation. I absolutely love having the girls close together. Of course, it takes a lot of adjusting in the beginning but it has worked out amazingly for us. Soldiers are brave. Survivors are brave. I am a mum with two kids close together. If someone wanted to comment, it would be much nicer to hear ‘you are doing a great job’,
7 ‘You will have a football team soon.’
Just because I chose to have two babies close together, it doesn’t mean that I want to have loads of children. It simply means that I decided to have two close together. It’s not the same thing. There is nothing more annoying than having strangers dictating what they think will happen with your body. If someone were curious if I wanted more, I would rather they just asked if I wanted to have more kids.
8 ‘How is that even possible.’
It’s quite alarming the number of adults that I have had to explain how you can have two babies in less than a year and that they are both mine. Its as if people think that there is a set waiting period after having a baby. I understand that the first few months with a baby can be stressful. Sex or having more babies is the last thing that some people can think of in the early days but it is possible to have two in under a year.
(Disclaimer; this isn’t meant to cause any offence. I know how sensitive the internet can be)